- I’d say that one of my strengths in my last essay was my ability to transition between views in one paragraph. I was able to include the facts of the argument as well as my opinion on it and in some cases include a naysayer. I think that I did very well making the transitions between POV on the same idea or argument very well using transition words and even some of the templates from They Say, I Say. Another strength of mine was that I was able to have two interviews of two different college athletes both with a different take on the issue. I think that having an example of an athlete who wouldn’t choose to get paid really helped strengthen my argument when I was able to later present Kendall, another college athlete but someone who is on the opposite side of the argument.
- I think that the biggest improvement in my essays throughout the semester has been may ability to use my voice. In each of my essays, I had very strong personal opinions and a lot to say about the topic. I think that my final essay is very clearly driven by my own opinion, and unlike my other two essays that I’ve written I wasn’t afraid to use “everyday speak” to try and get my point across.
- I think that my strongest quote can be found on page 3 and it is from Katelyn Ohashi; “treating [them] with the same respect as any other student who can freely profit off their talent […]” After inserting this quote I compared the scholarships that student athletes get to academic scholarships that many non athletic students receive. Although most average students don’t receive a full ride, I think that comparing them to student athletes in a way that everyone can see (the fact that others are able to make money for the work that they do, and that student athletes aren’t the only ones receiving these scholarships) makes my argument more understandable for anyone reading.
- The first step that I took was to insert my Barclay’s paragraphs and I think that that in itself really helped strengthen my essay by making connections between paragraphs and making my thoughts flow better. I also read my essay out loud probably ten times just looking for any areas where there was unhelpful repetition and wordy or complicated sentences. I also added a few more quotes from different sources that I used since I had only had one direct quote in my rough draft, and I tried to add even more of an explanation for the quote that I already had in order to try and strengthen it and connect it more to my thesis.
