How is gender constructed and how does it impact you?
Gender and gender construction impacts me in ways that I don’t even realize until I start to try and unpack it. As a member of our society, it’s a simple fact that I am unable to live my life outside of the ways that we view femininity and the female body, even if I want to. Typically, I feel pretty secure in the way that I look and present myself to others, yet this usually goes away the second that I am faced with other females and the way that they look. Although most girls that you meet will say that everyone is beautiful in their own way, there still exists a standard about what is deemed beautiful, attractive, or desirable, and what is not. For me personally, it really frustrates me how much I fall victim to the male gaze and these ideas of feminine beauty (created by MEN), even though I am not attracted to men and therefore shouldn’t be searching for their approval.
Similarly, the way that I choose to dress each day reflects very well the ideas of fashion and beauty for women of my age, race, and class. Although my idea of fashion may differ completely, from my friends or those similar to me, I often choose to conform to easy and ‘safe’ clothing items because I know it will draw less attention than branching out and wearing something that nobody has seen before. It’s an interesting dichotomy because what’s accepted as normal heavily relies on what women choose to wear, yet what women choose to wear is highly affected by what’s socially accepted.
Unsurprisingly, issues surrounding body and body image play a big role in my day-to-day life as much as I wish I was not affected by them. From a young age, appearance and physical presentation has always been a hot topic for the women in my life. Although they don’t mean to reinforce negative stereotypes and ideas, their sexist ideas about what beauty means for a woman have affected the ways that I feel about myself today. For example, I constantly find myself asking my friends for approval on the clothes that I want to wear, even when I know that it is something I like or don’t like on myself. In this way, I am effectively saying that my opinion is worth less than that of my friends or of other people who perceive me and that is just plainly not true.
Another example that comes to mind when I think about how gender affects me is also related to beauty standards, specifically makeup. When I was in middle school, I clearly remember that I started wearing makeup. I also remember waking up early every day before school just to have enough time to put it on. At first it started off with just wearing eyeliner but before long I had increased my daily makeup routine to include several other products, many of which I didn’t need at the time. For some people, they use makeup as a way to express themselves or as a form of art. Others use makeup to cover up imperfections that they are insecure about. Both reasons among many more are completely valid reasons for wanting to wear makeup. However, looking back on my experience now, I realize that I didn’t really use makeup for either of these reasons. Instead, I found myself waking up every day to put on makeup out of habit. Internally I knew that wearing makeup increased my chances of being perceived as prettier or more attractive and looking back at it now, this definitely influenced my desire to use makeup. Again, this connects with the idea of being affected by social norms and expectations even if you think or feel that you are exempt from them or wish that you were.
